great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
