Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
