I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
