So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
