i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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