oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
