so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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