Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize