At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
