i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
