Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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