What did we do last night that was yellow?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
