so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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