I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
