My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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