that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
