Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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