I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We have so much sex to catch up on
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
