Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Still dying that you shit outside
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize