I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
