he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
