ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
