O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
