...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
