Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
