wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
