Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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