his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
