dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
