Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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