I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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