Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
