is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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