whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
