Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
