So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize