i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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