just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
