i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
