Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
