Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.

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(909): View more from California

i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?

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(818): View more from California

So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth

(323): View more from California

Gross

(818): View more from California

AN ACTUAL PICKLE

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.

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(386): View more from Florida

At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf

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