...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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