you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
