we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize