my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
