If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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