Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
nutella sex= disaster
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
