I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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