I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize