I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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