I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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