yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
