you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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