Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
