Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
