I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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