I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
