Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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