I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So. Much. Porn.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
