she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
